It took me a while to be use to the fact that I may never get married again. It use to annoy the shit outta me when people would ask...."so when are you getting married?"... I fucking hate it!!! Do you really think I can predict the future and see when??? Do I really know??? Do I know if my current boyfriend is going to propose??? I DONT FUCKING KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! So stop fucking asking!!!!!!!!! Its' already one of my sensitive subjects...of course I want to get married and have a family. But now, I have somehow accepted the fact (at a 60%). I would rather just become a mom than a wife!

So now, when people bring up weddings, engagements, or ask when's it my turn...I can almost easily say..."been there, done that" or "i dont want to get married"...once in awhile it gets to me, but its not as bad as before.

But now what irritates the crap outta me is when people ask "so when are you gonna have a baby?" again, DO I KNOW? AM I GOD? HELLO????!!!!! I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE!!! When people announce that they are expceting, I am very much excited for them...I can honestly say that I am very happy for them because they have been blessed with the most precious gift. But I do get bummed. I feel sad, lonely, and a little empty....like something else is missing in my life.

When is it my turn? Dont ask me this...because this is the same thing I want to know. I have no clue...and it hurts...so dont ask